Beneath the White Coat

Martin, a friend, a brother in Christ, a patient. Martin, calm, peaceful, strong, loyal, servanthood. Martin, a husband, a father, a grandfather, a disciple maker, Your child. Martin, jaundiced, weak, immobile, lying on the hospital bed, on heparin drip. Martin, unknowing. Lord, I pray to you, you are the Almighty, you are the Lion, you are the Creator of all things, you are the beginning, the now, the end. You know each of us by name, even the very hairs on our heads are numbered. Lord you tell us to not be afraid, we are worth more than many sparrows. Lord, we do not know your plans, but we know that YOU have EVERYTHING planned. Thank you God.

Reflections. Today was one of those days, I stopped in my steps, took a deep breath, paused and looked back at past years. I re-read some of the notes I wrote from ten years ago, remembering that me.  In my 20’s my heart was bursting of energy, of joy, of immense possibilities and this intense desire to do GOOD and be LOVE in the world. Remembering that I had a torch that I carried with me as I lived. I’m not sure when it happened, but the flame slowly slowly started dwindling. Until it became this tiny spark, so dim, so fragile, surrounded by a thick walled glass of a heart. God was and is and will ALWAYS be there, but I, came and went as this glass matured. I wavered and dived into the messiness of the world, some days, months or even years of getting lost in the waves. Even still, HE, parted the waters many times in my life, in those moments, I could came up for a refreshing life-saving breath. Yet somehow, stones kept finding me, I got weighed back down over and over aga...